Okay, I am happy the title caught your eye 😀 read on…
I have been having trouble trying to suppress my disinterest when I hear statements such as “He/She listens to his parent’s words and follows their advice only” , in Tamil they say ” Naan kizhicha kotta thaanda maata” meaning the child does not cross the line we lay. There are two interpretations here : (and other kinds!)
1. The said person really follows only the parent’s words and never talks back or , has no mind to think of their own.
2. The said person gives an illusion that they are an ideal child but who leads his/her own desired life but does not reveal it to the parents. Gives an illusion in real, over phone or Skype.
3. Has a mind of their own but lacks the confidence/resources to defy the parents and lead the life they want. (I have a lot of support and sympathy for such)
and then there is the fourth which I love (kindof ideal)
4. The ones who lead the life they want,have their own mind (and soul) and who are open about it and yet have a relationship that is based on love .
and last but not the least
5. Those who don’t give a shit and just lead their own way without caring about anyone.
So this post is about the above statement and what it depicts of the society. I heard the story of a neighbor of mine who refused to marry a boy when she knew that he gives his whole salary to his dad and expected her to do the same. When she asked why seems he replied ‘Father knows best.” (!!!!) Same with many girls as well who listen to their parents and then carry the pattern over to the husbands when they get married. There is famous Tamil movie called “Santhosh Subramaniam” where the son is of category number 3 and becomes 2 and finally turns into number 4. The whole movie is based about a controlling father and the meek son and a scene shows how he is taken to see a girl to marry and she answers “Appa sonnarunga” meaning “Dad told me” the whole time and totally gets to his nerves.
Anyways coming back to topic.. what should I really respond when someone says that? Is that what we want from any individual? Growing up to have no backbone or a mind of their own? Shouldn’t we feel proud when a child defies you with confidence? Shouldn’t we start living our own lives when we become adults instead of holding to the pallu(tip of a dress) of our moms sarees? I want the society to accept the fact that people can make mistakes yet lead their own lives rather than listen to someone ‘experienced’ , ‘elder’, ‘wise’ etc etc. The best people have their own life experiences to back up not someone else’s. Because the same people who support this so called following don’t just end it there but also reprimand when the line is crossed. Shouldn’t lines be crossed to learn where the line is? This could be a really long post but I wanted it to be short and just get this topic out for discussion,
I wish we have more parents who say do what you want and I ll support you. Children (who grow up to be adults) should be taught to listen to all sides but in the end to make their own choices. And even better I want the statement “Naa kizhicha kotta thaanda maata ” to become extinct.
P.S. Though I love 4’s I do secretly love the 5’s just for their attitude 😛
What is your thought when you hear such a statement? What is the change you want? Who are you among 1-5? Let me know 🙂