What if…..#InfertilityNotATaboo

“Sooo..any good news?”

“Are you guys planning a family?”

“Hasn’t it been a few years since you got married..have you checked with a doctor?”

“Maybe you should go to this temple and tie a cradle”

You probably guessed what the above questions are about.  Continue Reading


The Six Month Milestone!


Six months since the big day. Good food in our bellies, henna stained hands, decorated with colorful flowers, animated conversations and bright smiles,  surrounded by the people we love. The day I had to wake up at 2 AM to get decked up for the ceremonies that started at 5 AM 😛 It definitely was a very memorable day !

In the long four hour ceremony, I still remember that moment when I felt “married”. It wasn’t when my dad gave me away to the new family or when R tied the sacred knots. It was when the priest asked us to look into the other person’s eyes, after walking around the fire seven times. As we looked into each other’s eyes, the priest reminded us about love and our promise to be there for each other. It was the moment when it hit me , all teared up I said my vows silently, promising R my everything. Our words had always been love, compassion, commitment, acceptance and independence. Continue Reading

Being Agnostic

  1. a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God or of anything beyond material phenomena; a person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God.

There are (in general) three kinds of people – The ‘I know’ or the believers, the ‘I don’t care’ or non-believers and then the ‘I don’t know’ or agnostics.

One of the self-realizations I had at a very young age was that I was an “I don’t know” person when it came to the talk of ‘the higher power’. No rituals at home induced any feeling in me. I was neutral and sometimes even rebellious in these scenarios. I found my very private spot and a much more private relationship. A relationship I didn’t want to share with anyone. Rituals that involved none except myself.

A extreme level of trust. An understanding:

“I won’t ask anything from you so don’t expect anything from me. Just be there when I want to lean on you.”

I isolated myself from any religious rituals around me to gain this trust. To prove that if the higher power exists, it does not expect anything from me (nor do I). I do not have to please it nor do I have to question its existence. It will always be there for me when I need it. It had no shape or form (or it could be found in any shape or form I wanted it to appear in). That was my spot. A place where both of us are in an ideal relationship.

The last few days made me revisit my relationship and my spot. Like many other moments, as people were sharing their religious rituals on social media, on how they decorated an idol or what they did to please it, it made me wonder. I do nothing. I have no representation of my faith in my life. I am oblivious to any significant days where auspicious rituals are performed. I wanted to revisit and see if I want to change anything about it in my life. My relationship remains the same and has only grown stronger over the years but I realized I was ready for a visual representation. I wouldn’t mind an idol in my house that would represent the millions of other ways it is represented. And that is a big step (change) in my world.

Do you relate to this topic? What is your spot and your relationship? Do leave a comment if you stop by.

Do feel free to email me at jansdoodles@gmail.com if you would like to discuss or give your feedback privately. And please do follow me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/jansdoodles.

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Bae or no Bae?

Bae,” Urban Dictionary says, is an acronym that stands for “before anyone else,” or a shortened version of baby or babe, another word for sweetie, and, mostly unrelated, poop in Danish.

The latest endearment word that’s been going around. Every time I read it I start laughing out loud because in my head a tiny voice says it out loud – baeee/behh/baaee. Believe me I wish I could record that voice and play it to you guys!

My latest way of driving R crazy has been by texting him bae whenever I am bored and enjoying his reaction every single time. To put it mildly, he hates it. It baffles him that of all the words already available to be used to call your SO , people chose bae. I am not a fan of it either but I don’t judge. I couldn’t care less if you call your SO in more revolting ways. As long as it has the effect you desire on the other person.



So why am I writing about this?

  1. If you didn’t notice , I have been off my game for a month now. I keep thinking I should update my blog but it never happened and so today was an ultimatum to myself. (and this was the best I could come up with :-/ )
  2. The usage of this word as a joke made me realize that such things can also create your moments. R’s realization on how bae is not his thing also made him realize what his words were and how their usage will shield him from getting more bae texts from me 😛

So what’s your take on this? Bae or bae .. what are your most favorite words to address your SO?





The ‘Married Name’ Conundrum!


“You didn’t change your name ?” 

“No I didn’t because… “

I have answered it so many times now in the last few months.

No I am not offended by the question since it is a norm for centuries and so people are curious when someone decides not to change their name. And then comes the second question

“What would your name be if you had decided to change?”

“Ermm..” …the conversation continues for 30 more minutes as I explain the various aspects of a south-Indian name.
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One day in San Francisco with $50!

Hello hello! Here is my next solo trip. San Francisco.. One of the cities where you can truly lose your heart. One of top favorite places of mine. A must-visit city for many 🙂 I have been to San Fran quite a few times now. But for one day I became a tourist and experimented to see if I can enjoy the essence of this place frugally.
My budget = $50

Can you tour the city with just $50? Yes you can !!

I consciously made sure I did not spend anything additional and at the same time have a great time.

SF graphic

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Illayaraja, appa and some nostalgia :)


The Maestro, the Genius, the King of South Indian film music.. Music that makes people want to listen to every waking moment. Music that gets people through their life, through ups and downs, through love, joy, happiness, heartbreaks, death, loneliness. You name it and he has a song associated with it. Songs that will make you experience the emotion and get through them. Continue Reading

Palo Alto, CA: A day exploration!


Palo Alto California: home of many renowned Nobel Prize Winners and Silicon Valley CEOs (such as Mark Zuckerberg).  Home of Stanford University – Beautiful, chic, rich and expensive in terms of real estate.

What do you do when your SO is out working and you are on vacation? Explore the neighborhood and document it 😀 I had an opportunity last winter to chill out for ten days with R. While he went to work , I went about exploring places in and around the area. The first being Palo Alto.

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