Getti Melam, Getti Melam!

image

Credit: Tamilweddings.com

Groom Walks Out Of Wedding In Karnataka Over Bad Rasam Served In Function. No this isn’t fake news. This happened for real 15 days ago and was much discussed on social media. And these kind of things have been happening for years at Indian weddings, a relative getting upset with a color of saree gifted or in-laws getting upset if the size of the sweets were small. So it ranges from weddings getting cancelled to someone being discontent for years about something trivial. And of course completely oblivious to why the whole wedding was happening!!

So when Madhvi pinged about the topic she wanted to write, I thought it was perfect.  Thank you Madhvi for this amazing post. And YOU reading this -I hope you enjoy it as much as I did 🙂  Continue Reading

Advertisements

Chennai is flooded, so is love, compassion and humanity!

Every calamity in this world pains us and we always pray for things to get better. I was looking forward to starting off December on a happy note but it is disturbing to see my city being battered with rain. This has been happening for a few weeks now but somehow they got through it.
image

The one this week seems especially bad and it is amazing to see the whole city helping out each other with flood relief,  distributing food, doctors ready to help out pregnant women and sick people, Google forms going around asking people to fill their details if they can accomodate the ones whose houses are flooded into theirs, cabs/autos/people with big cars scouting the city trying to rescue those stranded or whose vehicles stopped functioning.

I hope the city overcomes soon. Looking at all the humanity around, I am positive they will get through it. My prayers to the families who lost someone, who have been sick, whose houses are flooded and who escaped but have lost all their belongings in the water. I hope you find strength to overcome all this.
A special thanks to all personnel who have been working day and night to clear the roads, rescue crews, policemen, traffic inspectors and everyone else! Being far away , I owe you this for keeping my family, friends and fellow chennaiites safe.

So, if you are reading this and wish to help, this is what you can do. I, along with my friends were helping out those during relief measures on the ground last few days. We have a fundraiser set up in Milaap. We are personally verifying and distributing the funds to the volunteers who have been working hard the past week. The initial donations were made to help people and animals receive food. The current need is clothes, blankets, mosquito coils, sanitary needs and the long term plan is rehabilitation.

This is the link: https://milaap.org/campaigns/chennai-flood-relief

Please help us in fundraising and helping our city get back on its feet. Even $1 will go a long way at this point.

P.S: The biggest crib other than the fact that the roads have been constructed badly is that so-called national news channels did not cover the news about one of the major cities facing crisis. It’s okay newspeople , this motivated the whole city to connect with themselves using phones, social media hashtags, groups, hotlines etc etc. This proved that they don’t really need you to cover our city and update the. We have had amazing tweeters, bloggers, instagramers giving updates all day and helping Chenaiites.

Come on! Stop listening to your parents and lead your own life

Okay, I am happy the title caught your eye 😀 read on…

wpid-wp-1437771107656.png

Transalation: Does not cross the line drawn (by a parent)!

I have been having  trouble trying to suppress my disinterest when I hear statements such as “He/She listens to his parent’s words and follows their advice only” , in Tamil they say ” Naan kizhicha kotta thaanda maata” meaning the child does not cross the line we lay. There are two interpretations here : (and other kinds!)

1. The said person really follows only the parent’s words and never talks back or , has no mind to think of their own.

2. The said person gives an illusion that they are an ideal child but who leads his/her own desired life but does not reveal it to the parents. Gives an illusion in real, over phone or Skype.

or

3. Has a mind of their own but lacks the confidence/resources to defy the parents and lead the life they want. (I have a lot of support and sympathy for such)

and then there is the fourth which I love (kindof ideal)

4. The ones who lead the life they want,have their own mind (and soul) and who are open about it and yet have a relationship that is based on love .

and last but not the least

5. Those who don’t give a shit and just lead their own way without caring about anyone.

So this post is about the above statement and what it depicts of the society. I heard the story of a neighbor of mine who refused to marry a boy when she knew that he gives his whole salary to his dad and expected her to do the same. When she asked why seems he replied ‘Father knows best.” (!!!!) Same with many girls as well who listen to their parents and then carry the pattern over to the husbands when they get married. There is famous Tamil movie called “Santhosh Subramaniam” where the son is of category number 3 and becomes 2 and finally turns into number 4. The whole movie is based about a controlling father and the meek son and a scene shows how he is taken to see a girl to marry and she answers “Appa sonnarunga” meaning “Dad told me” the whole time and totally gets to his nerves.

Anyways coming back to topic.. what should I really respond when someone says that? Is that what we want from any individual? Growing up to have no backbone or a mind of their own? Shouldn’t we feel proud when a child defies you with confidence? Shouldn’t we start living our own lives when we become adults instead of holding to the pallu(tip of a dress) of our moms sarees? I want the society to accept the fact that people can make mistakes yet lead their own lives rather than listen to someone ‘experienced’ , ‘elder’, ‘wise’ etc etc. The best people have their own life experiences to back up not someone else’s. Because the same people who support this so called following don’t just end it there but also reprimand when the line is crossed. Shouldn’t lines be crossed to learn where the line is? This could be a really long post but I wanted it to be short and just get this topic out for discussion,

I wish we have more parents who say do what you want and I ll support you. Children (who grow up to be adults)  should be taught to listen to all sides but in the end to make their own choices. And even better I want the statement “Naa kizhicha kotta thaanda maata ” to become extinct.

P.S. Though I love 4’s I do secretly love the 5’s just for their attitude 😛

What is your thought when you hear such a statement? What is the change you want? Who are you among 1-5?  Let me know 🙂