On gender, being domestic et al! 

I am at the airport again, now on my way back. I have five hours to kill ..

So I am just back from an all-girls weekend with a group of friends from grad-school. This was the first time I am away after moving together with R. It felt a little weird (in a good way) to say home during conversations all through the weekend. Because this time ‘home’ meant ‘my own’ – with a kitchen and a man n all!!

img_20170110_201608.jpgThis post ties to a few things that happened before and during the past weekend.

Conversation 1-  Before the trip 

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What in the world!

I thought my first post of the year is going to be about domestic cohabitation or what I have learnt to cook. But, unfortnately no, I am here feeling appalled.

What happened you ask? Bangalore .. Mass molestation of women on New Year’s Eve in front of 1500 policemen happened. Women were grabbed, groped, touched, shoved around  during New Year Celebration in the city. As as they ran to the police asking for help nothing was done. It is claimed that the 1500 police were outnumbered.

A groups of males basically thought they were entitled enough to do anything to the females and nobody would hold them responsible (something happening all over the world right?).

As a Banaglore newspaper posted pictures, the police chief released a stament saying it  is concocted news by the journalists and a home minister stated that he blames the young people who were dressing up like westerners and copying them. And that “these things happen” .

 

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The few policemen who reacted just scared the men away and returned to their “positions”. Nobody thought of arresting them or calling for backup. They just scared them away.

As I read these articles and felt so hot and flustered, the next thing comes in, #NotAllMen hashtag. All the protectors of men and their rights declaring on social media that not all men are rapists , molestors etc etc. Seriously? *insert profanity* *more profanity*

 

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And after six days, the police have released a statement saying all this is true and that they are looking into CCTV footages and filing FIRs. And I know the end, they would arrest a couple of people and close the case. The men are all already roaming about scott-free gloating about how they got to grope women and never got caught.

And the women are scarred for life hesitating to go for a party each time from now, reliving this story for many many years to come.

What do I wish could be done? In the next post…

 

 

 

What if…..#InfertilityNotATaboo

“Sooo..any good news?”

“Are you guys planning a family?”

“Hasn’t it been a few years since you got married..have you checked with a doctor?”

“Maybe you should go to this temple and tie a cradle”

You probably guessed what the above questions are about.  Continue Reading

The ‘Married Name’ Conundrum!

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“You didn’t change your name ?” 

“No I didn’t because… “

I have answered it so many times now in the last few months.

No I am not offended by the question since it is a norm for centuries and so people are curious when someone decides not to change their name. And then comes the second question

“What would your name be if you had decided to change?”

“Ermm..” …the conversation continues for 30 more minutes as I explain the various aspects of a south-Indian name.
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Practicing Self- compassion..


Have you had those moments filled with nagging voices in your head especially after something emotionally draining activity such as an interview, a test, an argument , a wedding, a break-up or even as simple as a comment on your blog-post or not exercising today. I have those constantly looming in my head: Continue Reading

Why I would never get on public transport in my own city!

“Bus la pona enna aayiduva?’ (What will happen if you go by bus) asked an XYZ when I declared I want to hire a car for the two weeks I was going to be at home in India a couple of years ago. I was away for three years, finished grad school and got my first job and went back home to visit my parents. I got reminded of things when I was asked this question:

I clearly remember that moment,  I was looking out the window standing inside a crowded bus when I felt something very close, I turned and looked at a vermin of a man who was about to touch my breast in a public bus. I screamed and he backed away.

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Let’s start with Meaningful!

Make it Meaningful is the theme for the series as well as my wedding. So one of the first things we did even before we started the actual planning was to discuss what is meaningful to us. A major bond in our relationship happened when we knew we both cared for better humans than anything else . And we thought (maybe) education is one of the major sources to bring about a change in people and shape better generations to come by.

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SURVIVOR not victim

  •        vic·tim
                       noun :a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action
  •       sur·vi·vor
               noun  a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.
    A long pending follow through, a brief post on domestic abuse and what everyone should know about it. One of the main things I was taught as a volunteer for an organization that deals with domestic abuse and domestic violence is never to address them as victims. You read above, the definition is precise. Victims are those who are harmed in the process whereas survivors are those who fight through and come out to live better.  Continue Reading

Go team Brown n’ Proud!

Brown n’ Proud is an organisation started by a group of extremely passionate youngsters who are creating awareness about Rangbhed/Colourism in various forums. I recently got a chance to meet the team and found them to be extremely passionate 21-year-olds who had started this initiative straight out of high school. They recently had Navneet, the household name for stationery, to rename their “skin” colour crayon to peach and to make a point that peach is not the skin colour of everyone in our country.

Read my interview with them here, Team Brown n’ Proud Interview!. Please do follow them on Facebook and show your support for this cause.

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