Being Agnostic

ag·nos·tic

aɡˈnästik/

noun

1. a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God or of anything beyond material phenomena; a person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God.

There are (in general) three kinds of people – The ‘I know’ or the believers, the ‘I don’t care’ or non-believers and then the ‘I don’t know’ or agnostics.

One of the self-realizations I had at a very young age was that I was an “I don’t know” person when it came to the talk of ‘the higher power’. No rituals at home induced any feeling in me. I was neutral and sometimes even rebellious in these scenarios. I found my very private spot and a much more private relationship. A relationship I didn’t want to share with anyone. Rituals that involved none except myself.

A extreme level of trust. An understanding:

“I won’t ask anything from you so don’t expect anything from me. Just be there when I want to lean on you.”

I isolated myself from any religious rituals around me to gain this trust. To prove that if the higher power exists, it does not expect anything from me (nor do I). I do not have to please it nor do I have to question its existence. It will always be there for me when I need it. It had no shape or form (or it could be found in any shape or form I wanted it to appear in). That was my spot. A place where both of us are in an ideal relationship.

The last few days made me revisit my relationship and my spot. Like many other moments, as people were sharing their religious rituals on social media, on how they decorated an idol or what they did to please it, it made me wonder. I do nothing. I have no representation of my faith in my life. I am oblivious to any significant days where auspicious rituals are performed. I wanted to revisit and see if I want to change anything about it in my life. My relationship remains the same and has only grown stronger over the years but I realized I was ready for a visual representation. I wouldn’t mind an idol in my house that would represent the millions of other ways it is represented. And that is a big step (change) in my world.

Do you relate to this topic? What is your spot and your relationship? Do leave a comment if you stop by.

Do feel free to email me at jansdoodles@gmail.com if you would like to discuss or give your feedback privately. And please do follow me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/jansdoodles.